It's been days since my last post. Days since I've thought about writing. I was on a roll... and here push comes to shove and I'll be rolling again in no time.
A couple weekends ago, Topher and I went on what started out as a great adventure. It ended up catastrophically. I honestly feared for my life. I blame myself as much as I blame him, because I knew he'd been drinking and I still let him drive. I asked him to stop however, and he didn't. I vow that I'll never put myself in that situation again. The third era of Vera and Topher is dwindling down to a close... never to be re-kindled if I've learned anything from all of this.
To bring things up to date in other areas:
- Joe and I still have our casual relationship, although I find myself wondering what it would be like to have more. At the same time I'm so grateful to be free in so many ways.
- My friend Dwayne, at work is very actively pursuing a sexual relationship with me. I find it flattering and I love the attention, but he's quite a bit older than I and I can't picture myself with him in a sexual way. Trying not to lead him on.
- Mike, another friend from work, is married. I find myself deeply attracted to him, and the feeling is reciprocated. (We've briefly touched on the subject.) Nothing will become of the attraction, because I refuse to involve myself with a married man. Even knowing that this married man is attracted to me makes me feel bad... and a little bit guilty. I avoid being alone with him and try to keep our conversations short and professional.
- I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been before. I love my body, which is a huge achievement for me. I know what my flaws are, and I'm okay with them. I've never been able to say that before.
- I work at a job that I absolutely love! I'm a peon, my pay isn't great, but I love love LOVE my job! I work with a great group of very caring individuals and I work for people who are learning to live successfully with addictions, mental illnesses, and just plain ol' hard luck. I'm challenged each day. I work hard. There's never a dull moment. I may have already mentioned this, but I truly do love my job.
That about sums up my life right now. Things are good.
Life is beautiful.